ladydiana65's Blog

Helping myself....through helping others

Last week I joined experience project. Little did i realize how it would be instrumental in helping me to begin the  journey of getting past what i have endured the past one and a half years and begin to find myself again. What I do know, is that through reading many questions & answering ones that I felt my input could help, I have had some members privately message me with their dilemmas & ask for my input . While I am no expert by any means ( and i make that clear right off the bat), I take time to ponder their question and than answer with nothing short of sincerity and respect. All I have is my years of life lessons and the wisdom that I think I have gained through them,but I feel that I do have something to offer. If anyone were to ask me which 'celebrity' out there do I most relate to and/or see myself being like...i would have to say that I think of myself as the female version of Dr.Phil. haha...even though my hair has gotten thinner over the years, that is not the resemblance that I am talking about. I just 'get' how he thinks and know what he means and can even say what he is going to say b4 he says it. I can very much relate to the way he looks at the world and the people in it. A lot of the things he says & thoughts he shares.....are the same things I think & believe. I don't have all those years of education & experience behind me in the same way that he does, but I have always had this 'knack' of understanding this world we live in, what ppl are like and what makes them tick, and just how things should be said & done since i was a very little girl. I have always felt 'wise beyond my years'. i am also very sensitive and intuitive where people are concerned & even over the internet, when I meet ppl (especially on the internet,b/c I don't see the person I am talking to) my other senses are more sharper....and my sensitivity and intuitiveness are heightened.  I don't know if what i said has actually helped them deal with their individual dilemmas, but i seemed (at the least) to help them to be able to step back, look at their situation more objectively and see things from a different point of view. This seemed to have helped bring them some clarity and helped them to understand which is the best course of action to take in their particular circumstance. After all...isn't that what we all want and need? Just someone who will sincerely listen to us, truly ponder what we say and without judgement or condemnation, contribute something meaningful,positive and constructive that at the very least....will help them to see things from a new perspective? Help 'break things down' so that it doesn't look as 'big and messy' as it seems? Be that person that they can trust to keep their confidence? I'm gonna check in on them in a few days to see how things are going for them and to help encourage them to continue to seek the help they need to work through things so that they can heal and live a positive & happy life.  As they are young, they have the best chance to heal and live as normal life as possible and it is my hope that my words of advice,encouragement & wisdom have helped (at least in the short term) lessen the weight of their troubles they have been carrying on their shoulders, ease the burden that they have felt & help them have clarity & a new perspective on things. One thing i have learned in this life is that when we keep something that is troubling us all wound up inside of only grows bigger and uglier as it festers within us. But, if we can have just one person who will treat us with respect , hear us without judgement and we know that we can trust to keep our confidence.....than that can is a lot healthier for us than some of the things we tend to do to 'self medicate' in order to get through another day. 

Today is a new day....

I can't remember how i found this site....but I am really beginning to like it here. How can you not like it when the first thing you see when you sign up is 'Welcome Home'.? It is the first site i have been to where not only do I feel like i can truly express myself...but I also feel like I can take what i have learned throughout my life and use it to help others here. I really feel like I have a lot to offer and finding a place where I feel like I can share that part of helping me to start feel more like myself.  I think I will stay awhile.

How to cleanse myself of all the hurt and pain I continue to carry around with me...

Well, as a 47 year old woman, I never thought I would  have ever considered therapy.  My life has never been an easy one, nor has it been the fairytale story with the 'happily ever after' ending....But i have always considered myself a very strong person. The past year and a half has seriously chipped away at my 'strong woman' armor and I am left feeling weak,sad and vulnerable. All the things I have done to get through the 'tough times', just doesn't seem to be working for me anymore. 2011 was a horrible year & 2012 was simply devastating. While I want nothing more than for 2013 to be the year that it all changes for the better, I'm not so sure that will be the case. Knowing what I know and knowing what I am about to face keeps me grounded in reality and I am no longer living this fantasy belief that as long as I trust and believe....things will just get better. I used to be a positive person and believe that I was also a good person. But, i am beginning to believe I must have done something truly horrible in my last life or that I was a really bad person to deserve what I have gone through in this life. I am not one to always ask 'why me?',but used to be the 'why not me'? kind of I find myself feeling like nothing less than the victim and always wonder what I did to deserve what has happened to me and around me. I feel like I am in a rut that I just can't pull myself out of. Nothing I know to do works anymore. Nothing I have tried seems to help. I have noone that I can share what I am thinking,feeling and experiencing with. I feel just as alone now as I did the day I came into this world. While I am used to it and for the most content with it, I find that carrying the weight of such burdens is something that I need to get out of me,off my shoulders and free from my spirit. I guess that is why I am actually going to go for counselling.  I truly hope it helps. I'm tired of this life I have been living and i miss being me and I want to get back to being the strong independant person I have always been. Or maybe i am mistaking always being in 'survival' mode since I was just a tot for being strong and independant. Either way....I have come to realize I can't do this on my own anymore. But, until I start therapy...I have heard that putting your feelings,thoughts,fears and opinions down in writing can be very here goes....

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Previous Posts
Helping myself....through helping others, posted January 15th, 2013, 3 comments
Today is a new day...., posted January 11th, 2013
How to cleanse myself of all the hurt and pain I continue to carry around with me..., posted January 10th, 2013, 3 comments

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